10 Ways to Overcome Jealousy

In many relationships jealousy can be a big issue, and at times can ruin something that could have potentially become a long-term healthy partnership.

It makes sense then to tackle it head on!

Here are ten ways I have found that may help to tackle that niggling feeling.

sunset by the river-1

1.Accept the past for what it is

This can be a tricky one, but by accepting that we all have history, it allows us to take a stance of compassion, to let go of the past and bring ourselves back into the present moment where we belong. I like to apply the belief that whatever happened , happened for reason and a purpose and was there to serve us in some way.

2.Visualise positive outcomes

The difference in how we feel about our partners when they are away from us is how we represent them to ourselves in our minds. If you picture your partner being unfaithful then there is a chance that you will make yourself feel jealous. If instead you simply imagine your partner being happy and healthy, sharing a friendly conversation (most likely good things about you) amongst his/ her peers, this should in turn allow you to feel happy for them rather than anything else.

3. Discuss

I have found that in most cases, being open with my feelings, no matter what they are, allows for any misunderstanding to be resolved. This also invites our partner to be open, leading to the establishment of mutual trust.

Make a note also of expressing and discussing positive feelings as this focus enables more of the same to flourish within the relationship.

4. Practice Gratitude

Take a moment to ponder why you are with this person, and what it is about them that you sincerely appreciate. What contributions have they made to your life? What good times have you shared together? How have they embellished your existence?

The answers to these questions should replace any alternative emotions you may have been having with ones of thankfulness.

5. Selective Perception

Every moment of every day, we decide what we will focus on, and thus, what we will move towards. Choose to focus more on the aspects of the relationship that unite and generate mutual feelings of joy and laughter, as this will make for a much happier and healthier atmosphere.

6. Have Faith

Quite simply the act of trusting your partner, even better if you reach the point where you are able to affirm this to one another with absolute conviction.

I am not suggesting for one to be naive; should you have any reason to doubt their trustworthiness then it is important you communicate these concerns rather than let them grow and fester inside of you.

Do not let this happen. Instead, cultivate the art of embracing faith – in oneself, in God, in the Universe, in the belief that everything will always work out for the best no matter what.

7. Inner Peace

Taking charge of your own emotional well-being is much of the groundwork necessary to sustain a healthy partnership. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to be silent, to cease the mental chattering, and to get in touch with the core of our being, things have a way of falling into place. Use peacefulness as a tool, allowing time for your mind to be still and at ease.

8. Fill Your Calendar

Rather than focus on what your partner is doing, think about what you are doing. As much as time together is important, it is also healthy for both parties in a relationship to share time apart with friends and do activities away from one another. If you find yourself guilty of being jealous of your partner’s social life, perhaps it is time to nurture your own.

Get out there, do more, be more.

9. Let go

Sometimes we hold onto things that make us feel bad inside. This could just be life’s way of teaching us to let go. A good thing to also remember is that things only have the meanings we apply to them. If we let go of what we think a situation means, and are able to apply a new meaning, we thus take away its semantic power over us.

10. Realise that it’s okay to feel the way you are feeling

A little jealousy can actually be healthy in some circumstances. It proves that what you have means something to you, just don’t get stuck there or allow it to control your actions.

Perhaps you are feeling this way because you miss someone.

Why not use this as an opportunity to communicate, to bring the two of you closer, to work on making things better, or simply just to schedule some quality time together? 🙂


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